Howardism Musings from my Awakening Dementia
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Once upon a time, I wanted to tell my daughter a story with some finger puppets, but I didn't have many. So I asked my friend, Roger Chen, what I could tell her. He gave me the start to this funny little story.

The Princess and the Pig

Once upon a time, there was a princess who loved to play outside in the yard. Every day, as she played, there was a pig in the stall who was quite jealous, for she wished that she was a princess and not just a pig.

Then one day, she thought of a plan…

She escaped out of her stall and made her way into the dark forest where she came across a dark cave and in the bottom of the cave she found a huge monster.

"Mmmm, you smell tasty!" the monster roared.

"But I know something that tastes better than me," the pig said.

"What could be better than bacon!" the monster asked.

"Come with me and I'll show you."

"But what could be better than ham!" the monster yelled.

"Come with me and I'll show you," the little pig cried.

"But what could be better than pork chops!" the monster shrieked grabbing a box of apples.

"This thing tastes better than all of them. Come with me and I'll show you," the pig said, and she led the monster out of the dark cave and out of the dark wood to the castle.

"See that girl with the long hair, she is called a princess, and she tastes better than ham, bacon or pork," the pig said. And with that, the monster, who had been salivating all the way, roared and chased the princess into the woods.

"There," said the pig. "Now that is done, I can be the princess now." So she grabbed a pile of straw and affixed it the crown that the princess had dropped in her haste, and walked into the castle.

"Who are you?" asked the King when he saw the pig walk in through the door.

"It is I, your daughter, the princess. Don't you recognize me?"

"If it is you, then you must have been cursed by a witch or something." So he summoned all of the doctors and wizards of the kingdom to come and cure his daughter.

Each of them tried and tried (sometimes to the pain and suffering of the pig), but none of them could change the pig back into the princess.

So the King summoned all of the doctors and wizards of the neighboring kingdoms to come and cure his daughter.

On the other side of the wood, the real princess had got away from the monster, but now was hopelessly lost and now very hungry. So with tear-stained eyes, she saw a little house, and went over to asked the farmer for something to eat.

There she met a boy who asked what a nicely dress (albeit slightly dirty) girl was doing out in the woods just before dark. So the princess related her tale, and the boy said that he would help her.

The next morning the headed out for the castle, and along the road, they met up with a wizard. "Where are you headed too, Oh Wise One?" the boy asked.

"I'm off to see the King, for he says that his daughter was cursed and turned into a pig," he replied.

It didn't take long for the boy to figured out what happened and came up with a plan. When they got to the castle, the boy put the princess in a box and pushed the box into the courtroom.

"Who are you?" the King asked.

"I am Robin Cherrybottom, a wizard from the woods, and have come to cure your daughter." After a brief second of silence, the entire room burst into laughter. How could this young boy reverse the curse when all of the wizards of the kingdoms couldn't.

But the boy was insistent, "Just have your lovely daughter step into this magical box that my master left for me, and she'll be good as new." The King thought that it couldn't hurt (and just might be good for a laugh), so he allowed the pig to be placed in the box.

As the boy started to utter an incantation, the box began to move and there came a sound not unlike pork bellies being beaten and smacked. Soon the box was still and the boy was done with his chanting. Then the box lid open and out came the Princess.

The King was overjoyed to have his daughter back, and the boy took his box (and the ham dinner inside) back home.

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