Howardism Musings from my Awakening Dementia
My collected thoughts flamed by hubris
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A friend of mine told me the advice his father gave him on his wedding day. He said:

Son, you get to win three arguments with your wife. Choose them wisely.

I'm pretty sad since I used my three arguments up with the first few months of marriage. Oh well, it is easier now that I don't have to make any decisions…

—Uncle Howard

Advice to the Happy Couple

Any words of wisdom on wedding planning from someone who recently took the plunge?

Congratulations … I'm very happy for you. Advice? You know, advice is one of those things you get what you pay for.

However, I will pass along some very good advice that was given to us. This old man stopped into Tina's restaurant one day before we got married. He said, "The best advice I can give you is to lower your expectations."

It really stunned Tina, as it seems too negative to tell someone just before they get married.

But he is right if you think about it. We, who have been raised on Disney "happily-ever-after" stories often seem to expect more from marriage than is reasonable. I mean, our spouse may be wonderful, but they are human and will have needs and wants that conflict with ours. It is funny that we would not have any expectations of other people, but we often enter a marriage with roles we expect our spouse to fulfill.

Besides, if you don't expect anything from someone else, you can't be disappointed. I suppose this is a Buddhist perspective, but as much as we consciously think that we aren't like that, we slip. I suppose we shouldn't have high expectations out of ourselves, either.

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